You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
did i walk over a car last night?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
