I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
