Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
