How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
