my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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