As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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