Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
