standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
