He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
