I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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