If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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