omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
