She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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