i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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