I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
