You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
