At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
