Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
