I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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