and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
