I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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