thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
