My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
