id be glad to
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
