He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
