piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
