kristin has been a bad kristin
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
