he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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