It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
