did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I use my feet as sexual weapons
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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