Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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