no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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