I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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