My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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