i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
