Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
