We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
