who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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