why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
