I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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