The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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