At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
There r osticjed everywhere
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
