i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Randomize
