My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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