I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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