he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
