i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She told me I should be a condom model.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
