i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
