I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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