ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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