go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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